WEBVTT

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(lively music)

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What a delight, what an honor it is to be with you,</v>

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celebrating love, celebrating new ideas,

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celebrating with you at the summit.

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Celebrating with you that in spite of some headwind

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and challenges and difficulties in our relationship,

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in our physical health, in our emotional health,

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in our spiritual health, in our journey through life,

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in spite of all the adversity we face,

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we believe that the foundation is firm,

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that love is indeed still in the air,

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and that the best days are in front of us.

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My name is John O'Leary.

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At age nine, I was burned on 100% of my body

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and expected to die.

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Today, I've got the honor and the great fortune

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of being married,

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of celebrating that sacrament for the last 16 years,

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of having four children in our lives,

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of having a business that I love,

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of having a couple number one national

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bestselling books out there.

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One is called "In Awe," one is called "On Fire."

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I've been a speaker, I've been a believer,

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and I've been certain that

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in spite of all the challenges we face,

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that there's reason for hope.

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And I think right now in the midst of this difficult season,

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we face politically with the divisiveness,

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with the economy,

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with the headwind,

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with the coronavirus,

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with everything else that we have going on in our lives,

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we need to recognize that,

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that this too shall pass.

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So tonight I wanted to share with you three questions

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that I think will steal the joy

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and steal the life

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and steal the possibility from your life.

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And then I wanted to replace them

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with three life-giving questions.

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Questions that will fill you with more love,

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with more hope, with more faith,

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with more possibility, with more truth.

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It is truth, more truth,

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that your best days are in front of you.

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So it's a thrill to be with you,

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and I'm going to be celebrating with you tonight

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what remains possible with you at the Love IDEAS Summit.

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When you struggle though,

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because love doesn't take away those struggles,

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when you struggle emotionally,

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when you struggle physically,

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when you struggle financially,

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when you struggle spiritually,

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when you struggle socially,

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when you struggle with the headlines

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that are in the paper every single day, these days,

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when, not if,

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when you struggle,

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and when you choose to remain a victim to that storm,

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whatever the storm is,

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what is the favorite question that we love to ask,

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when we choose to remain beat down?

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Why me?

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So my friends, brothers and sisters, fellow leaders,

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today I want to give you three questions,

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starting with that first,

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to stop asking.

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And then we will replace them

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with three life-giving questions.

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So question number one,

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to remove from your love-centered vocabulary is, why me.

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Because when we ask that question,

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rather than looking up and giving thanks,

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rather than rolling up our sleeves and getting to work,

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rather than reaching out in acceptance and love

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to the ones around us,

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we close our hearts.

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We shut our arms.

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We look down.

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We get a little bit jaded due to the season.

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And then we whisper meekly out the second question,

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who cares, who cares?

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So question number one is why me,

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question number two is who cares?

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It's the great question of indifference.

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And indifference in a marriage,

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indifference during a health crisis,

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indifference during a political crisis,

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indifference during COVID-19

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or whatever else is going on

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in your own personal walk today.

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Indifference will lead to death.

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It's a slow fade but eventually,

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it's gonna take us all the way there.

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So question number two that I'm encouraging you strongly

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today and tomorrow and each day going forward,

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to stop asking is, who cares?

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Because when we ask that question,

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it's going to lend itself to the third

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and the final nail in our coffins.

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What more can I do?

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I'm just one.

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I'm too new, I'm too old.

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It's too hard, we tried it already.

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What more can I do, what more can I do?

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But today, leaders, servants, family, friends,

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leaders who love ideas, who love life,

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who love relationships and who believe like I do,

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that the best days are in front of us,

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today, we are going to be asking

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three completely different questions.

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Questions that will breathe life back into your heart,

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back into your faith,

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back into your relationships,

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back into your work,

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back into your lives.

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So question number one that we are asking

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on the front side of every single day,

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we wake up a little bit early,

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maybe before everybody else,

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while everybody else is still sleeping

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or hitting the snooze bar,

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we make our way outside, we look east.

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And as we watch the light cut through the darkness,

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recognizing that things are not perfect,

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but we do still live at the freest, wealthiest time.

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We recognize that we're blessed,

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that we're highly favored,

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that we were chosen for days like this,

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that our life is not an accident.

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And so we wipe the tears from our eyes,

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as we watch the light cut through the darkness,

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and we asked the question, are you ready for it?

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You write it down, please.

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Please do write it down, here it is.

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Why me?

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Why me?

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Eyes to see, ears to hear.

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Hot coffee to drink,

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and to hopefully clear out your throat.

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Hearts that beat free.

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Opportunity to think and collaborate

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and forgive and love and to dream and pray or choose not to.

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Why me?

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Why me, man?

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Blessed.

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Extraordinarily fortunate, highly favored.

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And aware of it.

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It starts with awareness, doesn't it?

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So we begin each day aware of what we have.

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Why me?

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It's very easy to make a list of how bad things are,

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how broken everything is,

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how miserable our lot is,

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how unfair our life is.

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It's very common these days.

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But we don't start there.

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We'll get to that list.

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But rather than complaining about it,

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we're gonna work to redeem it and make it better.

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But we start with that first list

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of what we're grateful for.

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This is not a hollow exercise.

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It's gonna build our emotional intelligence.

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It's gonna build resiliency.

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It's gonna ensure that our best days are in front of us.

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Gratitude leads to creativity,

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collaboration, acceptance, forgiveness,

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a whole lot of beautiful characteristics

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grow out of gratitude.

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That's why we start there.

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We ask the question, why me?

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And then we get out of bed.

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We dance to the shower.

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We grab that silver nozzle, turn that baby up, right?

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And then we asked the question,

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who cares?

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Who cares if it's hard,

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if it's never been done.

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If she didn't say sorry, and I'm still mad at her.

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If he didn't give me the kind of gift that I wanted.

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Who cares?

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We do something here that is highly valuable,

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it is incredibly significant.

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It has worth at work, in relationships,

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top line revenue, bottom line profitability,

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at home, in our relationships there,

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raising our kids, guiding for our aging parents

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leading forward, successfully and significantly-based lives.

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We ask the question who cares,

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but we don't ask it out of indifference.

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We ask it out of profound care.

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We do care.

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And so we ask that question,

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we'll come back to that here in a moment.

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And it leads eventually to the third and the final question.

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Anybody want to guess what it is?

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What more can I do?

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What more can I do?

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Do you see a similarity in those two sets of questions?

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Yes or no?

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Love IDEAS Summit leaders, yes or no?

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Do you see a similarity?

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It turns out that the manner in which we ask questions

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will inform what we see, how we feel, what we think,

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what repulses us, what turns us on for life,

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what we love, what inspires us, what breaks our heart,

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and ultimately the actions we take,

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which will lead directly to the results we get.

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So today, I want to guide you through that process

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of asking those three questions,

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not as victims to our circumstances,

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but as victors, recognizing that this life is not easy.

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It is not perfect, not this side of eternity.

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But the foundation is firm.

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We are not alone.

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Our lives have value.

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You are a gift.

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You are a gift.

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And the best is in front of you even still.

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So I want to guide you through a little bit

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of a slide deck that I prepared for today.

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I know everybody loves slides.

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But as I do so, I use a slide

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to support the story that I'm about to share.

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Starting with question number one around gratitude.

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Do you think gratitude matters, yes or no?

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All research speaks to the impact that

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gratitude has on love, on relationships,

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on work, on success, on significance, on creativity,

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on collaboration, on longevity for years.

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We can read about it.

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We can research this, that's phenomenal stuff.

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But I've seen it in my own life.

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I've seen it into my marriage,

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I've seen it with my children,

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and I saw it growing up with my dad.

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So I wanted to begin my very first story on a personal note,

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celebrating my dad.

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So let me show you my dad right now.

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He's the great hero of my life,

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and you'll meet him right there.

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That is my dad up there.

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He's seated right next to my daughter.

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Her name is Grace, his name is Denny.

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As I go through these pictures,

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I want you to identify what you noticed on my dad's face.

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Okay?

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And as you get ready to identify

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what you notice on my father's face,

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I also want you to identify

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what you see on the faces of those around him.

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And as you get ready to answer that question,

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recognize that my father

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has had Parkinson's disease for 31 years.

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Recognize that he has been struggling mightily

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for the majority of that time.

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Recognize that he's been unable to earn

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his own paycheck for the last 15.

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He's been unable to drive for the last 12.

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He's been unable to walk for the last decade.

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And for the last several years,

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he's been unable to speak.

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This man struggles massively.

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But he is on fire with life.

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He chooses joy.

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And I want you to notice what you see in his face, okay?

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So look at his face.

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And then notice what you see

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on the faces of those around him.

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What do you see on his face?

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That's my son, Jack, he's my oldest.

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And what do you notice on the face of those around him?

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That's my father in our Live Inspired studio.

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Man, my dad is stuffing calendars, but what do you notice?

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Yeah, the wheelchair is behind him,

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the work is in front of him,

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but what do you notice on his face?

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And what do you notice on the faces of those around him?

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That was our last live book signing in 2020.

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I bring my dad with me as frequently as possible

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when I can travel nearby

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so we can hop in a car and be a company with me.

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But I also bring him as an example for everybody else

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on what real courage looks like in action.

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What do you notice on his face?

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And what do you notice on the faces of everybody around him?

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Go chat in.

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You see the joy?

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You see the courage?

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You see the fight?

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You see the faith?

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You see the resiliency?

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You see the pure joy?

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You see the love?

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And what do you see on the faces of those around him?

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It's reflected.

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Love is reflected.

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We've mirror neurons in all of our bodies

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that reflect our take, our perspective on life,

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to everybody around us.

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My dad reflects goodness and grace and love,

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and it is reflected back to him in spades.

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It's an amazing story for a guy

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who is so beat down and struggled so mightily in life.

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He's an amazing, amazing human being.

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I sat with my dad five years ago now,

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he's on the screened porch in his wheelchair.

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He'd already spilled his ice tea once,

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my mother just ran inside to get some towels to clean it up,

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and to bring him another drink.

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So I look at my dad and I said,

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"Dad, how can you be so optimistic, so passionate for life,

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when you have so many challenges?"

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And his response was,

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"John, how can I not be when I have so many blessings?"

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So I said, "Dad, can you give me three things

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you're grateful for because of Parkinson's disease?"

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And I had no idea, my friends,

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what my father might respond back with.

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This is an invisible disability that my father carries,

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but it is a massive struggle that he has.

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So I had no idea what response he might say.

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Dad, what do you have to be thankful for

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because of Parkinson's disease?

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But as I saw him look up to the right and began thinking,

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he started sharing with me what he was grateful for,

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his three things.

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I wrote them down,

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I want to share these three things with you today.

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And if you are at home right now,

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you may want to write these down too,

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because maybe some of us need to be taking inventory.

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Not only of all the things that we've lost,

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and all the struggles we have,

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but all the joy, all the love,

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all the possibility that remains,

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all the things we still, even today,

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have to be grateful for.

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The first thing my dad said,

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"John, I'm grateful it was not a more serious disease."

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Then he went on to say, "I used to be so busy,

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but now I have nothing but time to reflect on my life,

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and who God is in my journey.

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I'm really grateful for that time, John."

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The third and final thing my dad said is,

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"John, I've always liked your mom."

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To which I responded, "Dad, I'm glad you like my mom.

13:44.290 --> 13:45.600
You started dating my mom

13:45.600 --> 13:47.030
when she was a freshman in high school.

13:47.030 --> 13:48.270
I'm glad you like my mom.

13:48.270 --> 13:50.230
You've been married to my mom for 50 years.

13:50.230 --> 13:52.160
I'm glad you like my mom."

13:52.160 --> 13:54.810
And he said, "John, I think you're missing the point.

13:55.950 --> 13:58.900
Everybody's pushing me farther and farther back.

13:58.900 --> 14:00.100
Everybody.

14:00.100 --> 14:01.970
But your mother, my wife,

14:01.970 --> 14:04.240
keeps stepping closer and closer and closer.

14:04.240 --> 14:05.690
I'm grateful for her.

14:05.690 --> 14:07.380
I love her."

14:07.380 --> 14:09.560
And at this point, I'm a total train wreck.

14:09.560 --> 14:11.470
So I, you know, I'm an easy cry,

14:11.470 --> 14:14.070
a good dog food commercial will frequently get me.

14:14.070 --> 14:16.080
I stand up, I wipe my tears.

14:16.080 --> 14:19.010
I walk over over to give my dad a big, huge bear hug.

14:19.010 --> 14:21.200
And then he says to me, very faintly,

14:21.200 --> 14:23.403
but very firmly, "John,

14:24.430 --> 14:25.483
sit down.

14:26.800 --> 14:27.633
I'm not done.

14:28.560 --> 14:29.817
Sit down, I'm not done."

14:30.860 --> 14:35.860
So Love IDEAS Summit friends, sit down for one more moment.

14:36.190 --> 14:37.670
This exercise on gratitude,

14:37.670 --> 14:39.480
ultimately, it's not just about my dad.

14:39.480 --> 14:40.690
It's about us.

14:40.690 --> 14:42.040
It's about our journey forward.

14:42.040 --> 14:43.530
It's about the fact that we are not alone.

14:43.530 --> 14:44.750
That even in the midst of the storm,

14:44.750 --> 14:46.610
there are things to be grateful for.

14:46.610 --> 14:49.030
And it will change not only how you look back,

14:49.030 --> 14:50.510
how you feel about the moment,

14:50.510 --> 14:53.110
but even how you feel about where you're going next.

14:53.110 --> 14:54.340
So sit back, take a few notes.

14:54.340 --> 14:56.390
Then I'm going to have you answer that very same question,

14:56.390 --> 14:57.510
what are you grateful for?

14:57.510 --> 14:58.920
Here's the rest of my father's list.

14:58.920 --> 15:02.503
The time at home with his kids, he's got six.

15:03.410 --> 15:06.450
And his grand babies, he's got 21 grand babies.

15:06.450 --> 15:08.100
He talked about medical technology,

15:08.100 --> 15:09.490
and the men and women who provide it.

15:09.490 --> 15:11.960
What a gift it is to have these amazing people

15:11.960 --> 15:13.640
showing up and serving.

15:13.640 --> 15:16.380
His mental health counselors, his physical therapist,

15:16.380 --> 15:19.400
his speech coach, his occupational therapist,

15:19.400 --> 15:21.920
his surgeons, the entire team that support my dad.

15:21.920 --> 15:23.770
He's grateful for these individuals.

15:23.770 --> 15:26.740
And of course, as a family, so are we.

15:26.740 --> 15:30.000
He talked about when he was on top of the world.

15:30.000 --> 15:32.240
He's not sure that he was completely compassionate

15:32.240 --> 15:34.250
for those who were buried by it.

15:34.250 --> 15:35.850
But now that he sometimes feels

15:35.850 --> 15:38.660
as if he is walking in the valley of darkness,

15:38.660 --> 15:41.450
he has a heart that is open to those around him.

15:41.450 --> 15:45.000
What a gift it is to have a heart tenderized for others,

15:45.000 --> 15:48.070
to grow in compassion, in empathy.

15:48.070 --> 15:49.110
And in a word that you've been hearing

15:49.110 --> 15:50.970
a lot the last couple of days,

15:50.970 --> 15:53.780
in love, to grow in love.

15:53.780 --> 15:55.850
We can grow in love through various channels,

15:55.850 --> 15:58.830
but sometimes, perhaps surprisingly,

15:58.830 --> 16:00.780
sometimes it's through challenge,

16:00.780 --> 16:02.890
sometimes it's through adversity.

16:02.890 --> 16:05.390
Sometimes it's in discovering what really matters.

16:07.470 --> 16:09.110
He told me, "John, when I have to crawl,

16:09.110 --> 16:11.810
I'm grateful for the days that I could walk.

16:11.810 --> 16:13.990
When I cannot speak, John,

16:13.990 --> 16:16.630
I'm grateful for the days when I could."

16:16.630 --> 16:18.190
This next one might be one of my favorites.

16:18.190 --> 16:20.790
He said, "John, when your mother drives me,

16:20.790 --> 16:24.100
I am supremely grateful for the handicap spot.

16:24.100 --> 16:27.440
Everywhere she takes me, we have rockstar parking.

16:27.440 --> 16:29.770
The red carpet is rolled directly to my door.

16:29.770 --> 16:32.130
She gets out, she grabs the wheelchair.

16:32.130 --> 16:33.430
She rolls it around,

16:33.430 --> 16:34.653
I slide in.

16:35.550 --> 16:37.630
And we both giggle all the way in.

16:37.630 --> 16:40.640
We're grateful for that rockstar parking."

16:40.640 --> 16:42.480
What a gift to see,

16:42.480 --> 16:44.440
even the challenges of life as a blessing.

16:44.440 --> 16:46.220
That's how my dad chooses to perceive his day.

16:46.220 --> 16:49.020
As he says and ask the question, why me.

16:49.020 --> 16:50.470
He talked about of the time to write a book

16:50.470 --> 16:52.920
called "Overwhelming Odds."

16:52.920 --> 16:55.350
We never talked about what happened to his son, John,

16:55.350 --> 16:56.990
when that little boy was burned at age nine.

16:56.990 --> 16:58.430
That person, by the way, is me.

16:58.430 --> 17:01.900
We never talked about amputations and skin grafts,

17:01.900 --> 17:05.420
and struggles and scars and stares and fears

17:05.420 --> 17:07.530
and pain and everything else we dealt with.

17:07.530 --> 17:09.670
Why would you talk about something so bad?

17:09.670 --> 17:11.240
It was all tragic.

17:11.240 --> 17:12.760
And then almost two decades later,

17:12.760 --> 17:16.630
my dad's Parkinson's disease progressed far enough along

17:16.630 --> 17:19.190
that he was no longer able to work.

17:19.190 --> 17:20.130
He slowed down.

17:20.130 --> 17:21.790
He reflected, he prayed.

17:21.790 --> 17:23.130
He determined that one of the things

17:23.130 --> 17:25.090
that had changed his life more than anything else,

17:25.090 --> 17:29.080
was the burns that his son received at age nine.

17:29.080 --> 17:31.460
And so he and my mom wrote a book about it.

17:31.460 --> 17:33.660
They printed 100 copies.

17:33.660 --> 17:36.630
They have sold 85,000 copies,

17:36.630 --> 17:37.800
which is pretty impressive

17:37.800 --> 17:40.920
for a Ma and Pa selling out of the garage.

17:40.920 --> 17:42.240
A man who can barely speak,

17:42.240 --> 17:46.070
moving 85,000 copies of their story.

17:46.070 --> 17:48.950
It is the unauthorized biography of John O'Leary's life.

17:48.950 --> 17:50.430
It's a story of me.

17:50.430 --> 17:53.960
But in reading that book, it changed me.

17:53.960 --> 17:56.690
It changed the way I felt about my scars,

17:56.690 --> 17:59.440
those on the inside of my body and those on the outside.

17:59.440 --> 18:01.980
It changed the way I felt about my experiences.

18:01.980 --> 18:03.730
And it changed the way I felt about what happened to me

18:03.730 --> 18:06.310
because I had thought it always happened to me.

18:06.310 --> 18:07.970
I was the victim here.

18:07.970 --> 18:09.120
But in reading their words,

18:09.120 --> 18:11.330
I recognize that this event happened to all of us.

18:11.330 --> 18:13.760
Life never happens in a vacuum.

18:13.760 --> 18:16.230
Love never happens in a vacuum.

18:16.230 --> 18:17.993
What happens to one happens to all.

18:19.110 --> 18:21.480
My sisters were burned as badly as I,

18:21.480 --> 18:24.500
not physically, but they lost their parents for five months.

18:24.500 --> 18:28.280
My brother, Jim, that day saw me in the front yard on fire.

18:28.280 --> 18:30.050
He was burned as badly as I am,

18:30.050 --> 18:32.160
not physically, but emotionally.

18:32.160 --> 18:34.480
My mom and dad, the struggle of

18:34.480 --> 18:36.530
not knowing each day if their son would be there

18:36.530 --> 18:37.710
when they returned to the hospital.

18:37.710 --> 18:38.920
What's that pain like?

18:38.920 --> 18:40.480
And yet the community came around,

18:40.480 --> 18:41.530
love showed up.

18:41.530 --> 18:42.470
Grace showed up.

18:42.470 --> 18:44.250
God showed up.

18:44.250 --> 18:45.460
And it was enough.

18:45.460 --> 18:48.640
It wasn't easy, but it was enough.

18:48.640 --> 18:51.050
My mom and dad shared that with me in the book.

18:51.050 --> 18:52.440
It changed my life.

18:52.440 --> 18:54.410
It changed what I did for a living.

18:54.410 --> 18:56.070
We'll talk about that here in a moment.

18:56.070 --> 18:58.070
'Cause I recognize part of us are here to grow

18:58.070 --> 19:00.480
in our professional journey, in our finances,

19:00.480 --> 19:02.010
in our community impact.

19:02.010 --> 19:03.220
It changed my life.

19:03.220 --> 19:04.570
That's the power of love.

19:04.570 --> 19:06.770
Huey Lewis was right!

19:06.770 --> 19:09.700
That's the power of love.

19:09.700 --> 19:11.490
That's the power of love, man.

19:11.490 --> 19:13.763
Love has the ability to change lives.

19:14.820 --> 19:16.400
Sometimes we need gratitude though,

19:16.400 --> 19:18.403
to open our self up for it.

19:19.330 --> 19:22.450
Just a few more before we turn into yours.

19:22.450 --> 19:24.240
He said, "John, I'm grateful for the ability

19:24.240 --> 19:28.250
to see, hear, learn, laugh, love, and live."

19:28.250 --> 19:29.237
And then finally he said,

19:29.237 --> 19:33.600
"John, I'm grateful for being healed, even if not cured."

19:33.600 --> 19:36.310
He said, "I will likely die of Parkinson's disease

19:36.310 --> 19:37.990
or something related to it.

19:37.990 --> 19:39.850
But each and every day I wake up,

19:39.850 --> 19:42.310
I look east, I watch the sunrise,

19:42.310 --> 19:45.310
and I'm grateful for the gift that is my life.

19:45.310 --> 19:49.750
I am," listen to these words, "I am in love,

19:49.750 --> 19:52.133
even still, with my life.

19:53.290 --> 19:57.840
I'm in love, even still, with my life."

19:57.840 --> 19:59.420
My friends, every day of our lives,

19:59.420 --> 20:02.400
as we wake up, we all look east,

20:02.400 --> 20:04.150
we all watch that sunrise,

20:04.150 --> 20:06.830
and we all ask the same question, why me?

20:06.830 --> 20:10.190
But today, surrounded by like-minded leaders

20:10.190 --> 20:12.160
who are trying to grow in love, grow in leadership,

20:12.160 --> 20:15.050
growing impact in our communities, and in our personal walk,

20:15.050 --> 20:16.240
we ask the question, why me,

20:16.240 --> 20:18.470
not as victims to circumstances,

20:18.470 --> 20:20.470
beat down by life, wrong!

20:20.470 --> 20:22.620
As victors, rising above,

20:22.620 --> 20:24.800
confident that our best days are in front of us,

20:24.800 --> 20:26.033
that we are worthy,

20:26.940 --> 20:28.810
and that we are enough.

20:28.810 --> 20:31.550
So the very first question to you today is, why me?

20:31.550 --> 20:35.580
And we answer with the statements, I am grateful for...

20:35.580 --> 20:37.620
I am grateful for...

20:37.620 --> 20:39.190
So I'll put this question on front of you,

20:39.190 --> 20:41.610
so that you may answer it thoughtfully.

20:41.610 --> 20:43.273
Wanna chat it in, feel free.

20:45.480 --> 20:47.560
I am grateful for...

20:51.723 --> 20:55.890
And as you make a list of things that you are grateful for,

20:55.890 --> 20:57.970
I do ask that you add into it,

20:57.970 --> 21:00.750
a name of someone you're grateful for.

21:00.750 --> 21:03.390
For instance, I would write down the name, dad,

21:03.390 --> 21:04.930
but I would also write down the name, mom.

21:04.930 --> 21:06.880
That's her zooming in on you right now.

21:07.770 --> 21:08.900
She's an amazing leader,

21:08.900 --> 21:09.970
she's a phenomenal teacher,

21:09.970 --> 21:13.150
and she taught a little boy with no fingers

21:13.150 --> 21:14.550
that his life still had value.

21:14.550 --> 21:17.763
I came home from the hospital on a Saturday morning.

21:18.810 --> 21:21.430
I, although had a smile in that picture,

21:21.430 --> 21:23.910
the reality is some disabilities are invisible,

21:23.910 --> 21:25.180
as many of us know.

21:25.180 --> 21:26.740
I think, as all of us know.

21:26.740 --> 21:27.780
As all of us know.

21:27.780 --> 21:29.890
Some of our greatest disabilities are invisible,

21:29.890 --> 21:31.070
things that others can't see.

21:31.070 --> 21:35.300
And one of mine was this belief

21:35.300 --> 21:38.560
that my life had been robbed for me as soon as they cut,

21:38.560 --> 21:40.540
as soon as they amputated my fingers.

21:40.540 --> 21:42.710
I knew that my life had been removed.

21:42.710 --> 21:44.620
And so I'm at home, smiles on my face,

21:44.620 --> 21:47.010
but my future is gone.

21:47.010 --> 21:48.720
My mother, recognizing that

21:48.720 --> 21:50.470
I was kind of having a pity party,

21:50.470 --> 21:51.600
kinda struggling a little bit,

21:51.600 --> 21:53.960
and she was unable to get me out of it all by herself,

21:53.960 --> 21:55.110
she called a friend.

21:55.110 --> 21:57.060
Her friend was our piano teacher,

21:57.060 --> 21:59.290
a woman named Mrs. Bartello.

21:59.290 --> 22:02.130
Mrs. Bartello came to our house on a Tuesday.

22:02.130 --> 22:03.320
My mother came into the kitchen.

22:03.320 --> 22:06.770
I looked up at her and I said, "Mom, why is she here?"

22:06.770 --> 22:09.280
I know she's not there for me, I can't play the piano.

22:09.280 --> 22:10.113
I don't have fingers.

22:10.113 --> 22:12.630
And not only that, I hated the piano,

22:12.630 --> 22:13.850
even before I got burned.

22:13.850 --> 22:15.710
Man, I'm a Midwest kid.

22:15.710 --> 22:17.300
I don't like the piano.

22:17.300 --> 22:18.460
I know she's not there for me though,

22:18.460 --> 22:19.560
I'll never play again.

22:22.890 --> 22:25.060
My mother walks into the kitchen a little farther,

22:25.060 --> 22:26.700
unhooks the brakes in my wheelchair.

22:26.700 --> 22:30.040
We could spend another 25 minutes just on that piece.

22:30.040 --> 22:35.040
She liberates me from the chains that binded me to the past.

22:35.060 --> 22:37.720
I think many of us need to be removed from those chains,

22:37.720 --> 22:39.360
pshew, cut them!

22:39.360 --> 22:40.780
Grab the key.

22:40.780 --> 22:42.990
Be freed, be freed.

22:42.990 --> 22:45.040
My mother removed that from me.

22:45.040 --> 22:47.320
She took away that pity party just for a moment.

22:47.320 --> 22:49.070
And sometimes a moment is enough.

22:49.070 --> 22:51.410
She rolled me all the way out of the kitchen,

22:51.410 --> 22:53.540
through the family room, into the front hall.

22:53.540 --> 22:56.450
That's where my grandmother's great piano was.

22:56.450 --> 22:57.600
She locked the brakes.

22:57.600 --> 22:59.297
A woman named Mrs. Bartello put her arm around me,

22:59.297 --> 23:03.070
and she said to me, "John, we're doing this together."

23:03.070 --> 23:03.903
And with that,

23:03.903 --> 23:05.770
she took a number two pencil out of her purse.

23:05.770 --> 23:07.250
She took out two rubber bands.

23:07.250 --> 23:10.640
She strapped them to my bandaged right hand,

23:10.640 --> 23:13.500
and she said, "We're doing this together."

23:13.500 --> 23:14.960
And we start taking piano class.

23:14.960 --> 23:16.360
My left arm was out at my side,

23:16.360 --> 23:18.170
my right hand was playing the piano.

23:18.170 --> 23:21.870
I cannot wait for this doggone piano class to be over.

23:21.870 --> 23:24.060
30 minutes after it began, it's finally over.

23:24.060 --> 23:25.660
Thank you, Lord, it's done.

23:25.660 --> 23:26.793
Oh I hated that.

23:28.060 --> 23:29.920
And then one week later, the doorbell rang,

23:29.920 --> 23:32.200
and Mrs. Bartello came back.

23:32.200 --> 23:33.170
And then one week after that,

23:33.170 --> 23:34.130
she came back again,

23:34.130 --> 23:34.963
and then back again,

23:34.963 --> 23:35.940
and then back again

23:36.970 --> 23:38.620
for five months.

23:38.620 --> 23:40.410
No, not for five months,

23:40.410 --> 23:41.883
for five years,

23:43.010 --> 23:45.580
teaching a little boy with no fingers how to play.

23:45.580 --> 23:46.930
Being an inspiration.

23:46.930 --> 23:48.960
Giving me a gift of vision.

23:48.960 --> 23:52.270
A purpose of why, who cared?

23:52.270 --> 23:54.770
She did, she cared.

23:54.770 --> 23:57.390
So the first question is, why me?

23:57.390 --> 24:01.580
The second question is, why do you care?

24:01.580 --> 24:03.230
Why do you want to get better?

24:03.230 --> 24:05.150
Why do you want better relationships?

24:05.150 --> 24:06.550
Why do you want a better health?

24:06.550 --> 24:07.970
Why do you want a better marriage?

24:07.970 --> 24:09.280
Why do you want to be a better dad?

24:09.280 --> 24:11.220
Better mom, better leader, better citizen,

24:11.220 --> 24:12.890
better servant, better at forgiving.

24:12.890 --> 24:14.293
Why, why?

24:15.520 --> 24:18.690
I choose to thrive because...

24:18.690 --> 24:21.000
So that's the question I want you to answer right now.

24:21.000 --> 24:23.150
And if you want to chat it in, and feel free,

24:23.150 --> 24:25.910
but I'd like you to chat in, answer in your heart,

24:25.910 --> 24:27.900
wherever you want to answer right now,

24:27.900 --> 24:30.800
I choose to thrive because...

24:30.800 --> 24:33.820
It's the answer to the question of why you choose to care.

24:33.820 --> 24:35.393
The first piece was gratitude.

24:36.410 --> 24:40.306
The second part of that was, who are you grateful for?

24:40.306 --> 24:42.390
And part of the answer, and when you see who it was,

24:42.390 --> 24:44.170
you recognized what it was about them

24:44.170 --> 24:45.670
that allowed them to set themselves apart,

24:45.670 --> 24:47.820
to make a profound difference in your life.

24:49.200 --> 24:50.720
They chose to care.

24:50.720 --> 24:52.150
They knew why they were gonna thrive.

24:52.150 --> 24:54.120
They knew why they were gonna sit down alongside of you,

24:54.120 --> 24:57.010
tie a pencil to your hand and say,

24:57.010 --> 24:59.630
I'm with you, you're not alone.

24:59.630 --> 25:00.463
But you gotta believe.

25:00.463 --> 25:01.390
You gotta fight, you gotta dream,

25:01.390 --> 25:03.290
you gotta work with me.

25:03.290 --> 25:04.410
I love you.

25:04.410 --> 25:06.140
That's what they're saying to you.

25:06.140 --> 25:08.610
I choose to thrive because...

25:08.610 --> 25:12.130
So that's the answer I'd like you to determine right now.

25:12.130 --> 25:14.710
It's what I would call an ignition statement for life.

25:14.710 --> 25:16.250
Your mission statement for life.

25:16.250 --> 25:17.360
And while you do so,

25:17.360 --> 25:18.500
what we thought might be cool today

25:18.500 --> 25:20.210
is to play the piano for you.

25:20.210 --> 25:22.110
So I'm gonna load up a little video for you right now.

25:22.110 --> 25:24.390
It's gonna be a little song on the piano,

25:24.390 --> 25:25.350
I hope you enjoy it.

25:25.350 --> 25:26.720
It's my mother's favorite song,

25:26.720 --> 25:29.120
it's the first one that I learned how to play

25:29.120 --> 25:30.650
after coming out of the hospital.

25:30.650 --> 25:32.710
It's also the first one that was requested

25:32.710 --> 25:34.560
that I play at a public event.

25:34.560 --> 25:36.350
I'm a professional speaker.

25:36.350 --> 25:38.220
And after nine or so years of doing this,

25:38.220 --> 25:40.710
some lady had read that I do some piano playing.

25:40.710 --> 25:43.830
So she said, well, will you play at my conference?

25:43.830 --> 25:46.180
So I did, and they recorded it.

25:46.180 --> 25:48.340
And so the very first time was in front

25:48.340 --> 25:51.533
of 21,000 people at the MGM, I hope you like it.

25:56.269 --> 25:59.352
(gentle piano music)

26:07.790 --> 26:10.123
And it always starts slowly.

26:12.095 --> 26:16.678
(gentle "Amazing Grace" piano strains)

26:56.048 --> 26:56.960
If you haven't started taking notes,

26:56.960 --> 26:57.960
take them now, baby.

26:59.702 --> 27:04.619
(quickening "Amazing Grace" piano strains)

27:47.405 --> 27:49.640
(audience cheering)

27:49.640 --> 27:50.810
Whoo!

27:50.810 --> 27:52.283
The crowd goes crazy!

27:55.000 --> 27:57.540
I choose to thrive because, my friends,

27:57.540 --> 27:58.930
I'm trying to walk you down a process

27:58.930 --> 28:03.930
that will allow you to be deeply in love with your life,

28:04.340 --> 28:05.900
with your work,

28:05.900 --> 28:07.280
with your singleness,

28:07.280 --> 28:08.690
with your marriage,

28:08.690 --> 28:10.240
with your recovery,

28:10.240 --> 28:12.550
with your possibility, with your past, with your future,

28:12.550 --> 28:14.253
with your God, with your creator,

28:15.950 --> 28:17.470
with the opportunity to work through

28:17.470 --> 28:19.190
a very difficult set of circumstances,

28:19.190 --> 28:20.950
whatever that might be for you.

28:20.950 --> 28:22.000
We begin with gratitude.

28:22.000 --> 28:23.060
I think that's where you start,

28:23.060 --> 28:24.280
awareness of what you got.

28:24.280 --> 28:25.920
If you don't have that as the first step,

28:25.920 --> 28:28.020
I think everything else is gonna fall apart.

28:28.020 --> 28:30.470
The second is clarity around why you will love

28:30.470 --> 28:31.430
in the first place.

28:31.430 --> 28:32.980
Why you will choose to thrive.

28:32.980 --> 28:34.840
I choose to thrive because...

28:34.840 --> 28:36.630
It is the answer to the question, who cares?

28:36.630 --> 28:39.963
And for me, my statement for this is as follows.

28:41.470 --> 28:43.610
This is your mission statement for life,

28:43.610 --> 28:45.250
whatever you came up with on your own.

28:45.250 --> 28:46.200
So here's mine.

28:46.200 --> 28:47.320
I choose to thrive-

28:47.320 --> 28:49.640
Feel free to steal this or to burn the piece of paper

28:49.640 --> 28:51.270
you're taking notes on right now.

28:51.270 --> 28:53.280
I choose to thrive because

28:54.570 --> 28:55.523
God demands it.

28:56.410 --> 28:57.547
My family deserves it,

28:57.547 --> 29:00.423
and the world is starved for it.

29:01.330 --> 29:02.940
Let's roll.

29:02.940 --> 29:03.963
No excuses.

29:05.010 --> 29:05.843
That's mine.

29:05.843 --> 29:06.676
That's mine right there.

29:06.676 --> 29:08.920
I choose to thrive in my marriage,

29:08.920 --> 29:09.753
in my singleness,

29:09.753 --> 29:12.320
through my mistakes, at work, in my professional journey,

29:12.320 --> 29:14.360
with generosity, charitable giving, with my faith life,

29:14.360 --> 29:16.240
with my kids, with my parents,

29:16.240 --> 29:18.610
with a video right now with each of you.

29:18.610 --> 29:22.453
I choose to thrive in spite of some struggles,

29:24.000 --> 29:25.560
in spite of the headwind,

29:25.560 --> 29:28.030
in spite of COVID and recessionary winds,

29:28.030 --> 29:29.520
and divisiveness in our politics,

29:29.520 --> 29:31.290
everything else going on around us.

29:31.290 --> 29:33.970
I choose to thrive because God demands it.

29:33.970 --> 29:35.430
My family deserves it.

29:35.430 --> 29:37.680
The world is starved for it.

29:37.680 --> 29:39.330
Let's roll,

29:39.330 --> 29:40.370
no excuses,

29:40.370 --> 29:41.253
no excuses.

29:42.760 --> 29:43.623
What's yours?

29:44.680 --> 29:46.370
What's your mission statement?

29:46.370 --> 29:48.900
It's really, really significantly important

29:48.900 --> 29:51.260
to have not only healthy relationships at home,

29:51.260 --> 29:54.300
but I think profound success at work.

29:54.300 --> 29:55.590
What's your mission statement?

29:55.590 --> 29:57.770
It ought to work for us 24/7.

29:57.770 --> 30:00.330
And the very final leg of the step is the question,

30:00.330 --> 30:01.730
what more can I do?

30:01.730 --> 30:02.563
What more can I do?

30:02.563 --> 30:04.750
I wanted to read to you a quote

30:06.180 --> 30:10.043
from one of my favorite authors, his name is C.S. Lewis,

30:11.430 --> 30:13.260
and it's about love.

30:13.260 --> 30:16.340
It's about love and it's about vulnerability.

30:16.340 --> 30:18.780
And I think it's a perfect lead into the story

30:18.780 --> 30:19.800
that I'm about to share,

30:19.800 --> 30:24.260
ultimately about full acceptance, total acceptance.

30:24.260 --> 30:27.083
So here is the quote from C.S. Lewis.

30:28.130 --> 30:29.790
I think it fit in when he wrote it.

30:29.790 --> 30:31.700
I think it fits in perfectly tonight, as you hear it.

30:31.700 --> 30:33.277
Here we go.

30:33.277 --> 30:36.480
"To love at all is to be vulnerable.

30:36.480 --> 30:38.110
Love anything,

30:38.110 --> 30:41.373
and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.

30:42.420 --> 30:45.120
If you want to make sure of keeping it intact,

30:45.120 --> 30:48.800
you must give it to no one, not even an animal.

30:48.800 --> 30:50.360
Wrap it up carefully round

30:50.360 --> 30:52.890
with hobbies and little luxuries;

30:52.890 --> 30:55.230
avoid all entanglements;

30:55.230 --> 31:00.053
lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.

31:00.910 --> 31:02.540
But in that casket,

31:02.540 --> 31:04.020
safe,

31:04.020 --> 31:05.480
dark,

31:05.480 --> 31:06.593
motionless,

31:07.440 --> 31:08.323
airless,

31:09.350 --> 31:10.620
it will change.

31:10.620 --> 31:12.140
It will change.

31:12.140 --> 31:14.460
It will not be broken.

31:14.460 --> 31:17.460
It will become unbreakable,

31:17.460 --> 31:19.220
impenetrable,

31:19.220 --> 31:21.150
irredeemable.

31:21.150 --> 31:25.110
Because to love it all is to be vulnerable."

31:25.110 --> 31:26.860
Oh that's so good.

31:26.860 --> 31:31.463
Because to love at all is to be vulnerable.

31:32.740 --> 31:37.740
I struggled a long time in my journey, being vulnerable,

31:37.900 --> 31:41.430
being brave, being courageous.

31:41.430 --> 31:44.790
Ultimately, what I'm saying to you is, being who I was.

31:44.790 --> 31:48.390
That's love, being who you are called to be.

31:48.390 --> 31:50.490
And then serving the ones in front of you

31:50.490 --> 31:54.070
as authentically and as generously as possible.

31:54.070 --> 31:55.513
Vulnerability and action.

31:56.380 --> 31:57.370
I'm going to show you a couple of pictures

31:57.370 --> 31:58.500
about the journey forward,

31:58.500 --> 32:00.840
from my experience being burned at age nine,

32:00.840 --> 32:01.970
and talk a little bit about

32:01.970 --> 32:03.670
who taught me ultimately

32:03.670 --> 32:06.853
about vulnerability, about acceptance, about love.

32:07.860 --> 32:10.010
I won't make you listen to that song twice.

32:10.890 --> 32:12.760
This was the picture of the can of gasoline

32:12.760 --> 32:15.100
that blew up in my face when I was nine years old.

32:15.100 --> 32:17.630
This was the explosion point in the garage.

32:17.630 --> 32:22.630
It blew me back 20 feet, set my clothes and skin on fire.

32:22.670 --> 32:25.020
And it changed this little boy's life forever.

32:25.020 --> 32:27.660
One moment, I'm a happy, healthy, normal little fella.

32:27.660 --> 32:28.700
And then, in the next,

32:28.700 --> 32:31.900
and leaders, servants, my friends,

32:31.900 --> 32:33.250
this picture will be hard to look at,

32:33.250 --> 32:35.410
shut your eyes if you'd like,

32:35.410 --> 32:36.630
shut your eyes or turn away.

32:36.630 --> 32:38.640
I found myself on my back,

32:38.640 --> 32:42.980
with burns on 100% of my body,

32:42.980 --> 32:43.903
and I'm dying.

32:45.280 --> 32:46.113
And I'm dying.

32:47.030 --> 32:48.320
And from that moment forward,

32:48.320 --> 32:51.610
I would find myself in the fight of my life

32:51.610 --> 32:53.990
in an emergency room, that's where it began.

32:53.990 --> 32:55.450
And then five months of darkness,

32:55.450 --> 32:56.770
of struggles, of adversity,

32:56.770 --> 32:58.470
of bandage changes, some physical therapy,

32:58.470 --> 33:01.150
occupational therapy, counselors, psychologist,

33:01.150 --> 33:02.470
dietary folks, chaplains,

33:02.470 --> 33:05.940
coming in every day, seemingly 24 hours a day,

33:05.940 --> 33:07.230
visiting this little boy.

33:07.230 --> 33:09.460
And then even when I got out of the hospital,

33:09.460 --> 33:13.650
two years of surgery and therapy remained physically.

33:13.650 --> 33:16.030
That doesn't even begin to talk about the emotional pain,

33:16.030 --> 33:17.750
the invisible disabilities

33:17.750 --> 33:19.780
that were still part of the journey forward.

33:19.780 --> 33:23.400
I struggled, I think, getting love from others,

33:23.400 --> 33:25.660
because I struggled loving myself.

33:25.660 --> 33:27.260
I struggled loving myself.

33:27.260 --> 33:30.410
It was a two part solution to this, ultimately.

33:30.410 --> 33:33.590
Number one, I stopped pursuing,

33:33.590 --> 33:35.350
who ended up being my wife,

33:35.350 --> 33:37.320
for what I might get out of that.

33:37.320 --> 33:41.070
I pursued my beautiful wife, Beth, for three years.

33:41.070 --> 33:43.240
And I pursued her for me,

33:43.240 --> 33:44.680
because I wanted a girlfriend.

33:44.680 --> 33:46.610
Eventually I wanted a wife.

33:46.610 --> 33:50.350
Eventually I wanted someone to be the other half of me.

33:50.350 --> 33:52.570
Because I didn't want to go to parties anymore by myself.

33:52.570 --> 33:54.410
I wanted somebody to come home with.

33:54.410 --> 33:56.480
Are you noticing what I'm saying here about love?

33:56.480 --> 34:01.480
It was all 100% about what I would get out of it.

34:01.480 --> 34:02.380
What I would get out of it.

34:02.380 --> 34:05.690
This is frequently how we go about relationships.

34:05.690 --> 34:08.310
It's frequently how we go about relationships

34:08.310 --> 34:11.530
with our parents, our kids, our spouse,

34:11.530 --> 34:13.650
our work, our country.

34:13.650 --> 34:15.310
What do I get out of it, man?

34:15.310 --> 34:17.000
What do I get out of it?

34:17.000 --> 34:18.240
What do I get out of it?

34:18.240 --> 34:19.870
That's what I did for the majority of my life.

34:19.870 --> 34:21.700
What do I get out of this thing?

34:21.700 --> 34:23.613
And then at about age 24,

34:25.940 --> 34:27.130
24,

34:27.130 --> 34:29.450
I stopped trying to get anything out of it.

34:29.450 --> 34:32.710
And I just started surrendering to it.

34:32.710 --> 34:36.160
I started fully investing in myself.

34:36.160 --> 34:38.100
I read a scripture verse where Jesus challenged us

34:38.100 --> 34:40.480
to use however many talents we had,

34:40.480 --> 34:42.790
in service to those around us, to better ourselves.

34:42.790 --> 34:44.510
If you got five, use five.

34:44.510 --> 34:46.450
You got three, use those three.

34:46.450 --> 34:48.920
If you got one, you better not bury it, man.

34:48.920 --> 34:51.070
You better use it for service.

34:51.070 --> 34:54.050
I felt as a kid, I only had one talent.

34:54.050 --> 34:55.890
But in reading that, it was convicting of me.

34:55.890 --> 34:58.820
And I realized, well, even if it's only one, I gotta use it.

34:58.820 --> 34:59.700
I gotta use it.

34:59.700 --> 35:02.030
So I started using it to just pour myself into others,

35:02.030 --> 35:04.240
and specifically at that age,

35:04.240 --> 35:06.160
into this girl that I just loved.

35:06.160 --> 35:08.330
But I started loving her, not for me.

35:08.330 --> 35:09.700
I started loving her for her.

35:09.700 --> 35:11.580
I started investing completely into her,

35:11.580 --> 35:13.690
loving unconditionally, authentically,

35:13.690 --> 35:15.420
not trying to get anything out of it.

35:15.420 --> 35:17.320
And after years of being rejected,

35:17.320 --> 35:19.620
something happened in our relationship.

35:19.620 --> 35:21.207
My friend, for years, she said,

35:21.207 --> 35:22.350
"John, I'll never date you

35:22.350 --> 35:23.390
because you're like your brother to me.

35:23.390 --> 35:25.520
So stop asking if I'll ever go on a date with you.

35:25.520 --> 35:26.770
Stop asking."

35:26.770 --> 35:28.600
That same girl asked me out.

35:28.600 --> 35:30.170
She took me out to dinner,

35:30.170 --> 35:32.240
and then over dinner, she took a big sip of wine,

35:32.240 --> 35:33.890
and she said, "John, every time I'm with you,

35:33.890 --> 35:36.260
I get butterflies in my stomach.

35:36.260 --> 35:38.970
I'm not sure why, I wish they would fly away.

35:38.970 --> 35:40.060
But I think I'm falling for you.

35:40.060 --> 35:40.987
Will you date me?"

35:42.620 --> 35:43.940
So I said, yes.

35:43.940 --> 35:45.830
We dated for three years.

35:45.830 --> 35:48.400
We've been married for 16 years.

35:48.400 --> 35:49.880
Get that little picture off the screen,

35:49.880 --> 35:51.050
go into this one.

35:51.050 --> 35:54.730
She is an amazing lady who can see past scars.

35:54.730 --> 35:56.360
That's the kind of heart she has.

35:56.360 --> 35:57.600
That's the kind of vulnerability

35:57.600 --> 35:59.930
and compassionate and courage that she has.

35:59.930 --> 36:01.830
And she gave me this little boy,

36:01.830 --> 36:04.170
who taught me the second leg of the stool.

36:04.170 --> 36:05.320
That you must not only

36:06.180 --> 36:09.240
unconditionally love the ones around you,

36:09.240 --> 36:11.110
eventually you gotta choose to love yourself.

36:11.110 --> 36:12.100
So my friends, as we get ready

36:12.100 --> 36:13.370
to wrap up this time together,

36:13.370 --> 36:15.740
as we ask the question one more time,

36:15.740 --> 36:16.760
what more can I do?

36:16.760 --> 36:18.040
What more can I do?

36:18.040 --> 36:19.470
The lens is eventually gonna turn

36:19.470 --> 36:20.790
from others, into yourself,

36:20.790 --> 36:23.320
to be able to look into the mirror,

36:23.320 --> 36:24.600
and love what you see,

36:24.600 --> 36:26.430
and love what you see.

36:26.430 --> 36:28.610
When my son Jack was three years old,

36:28.610 --> 36:30.820
I was shaving in the mirror in the bathroom,

36:30.820 --> 36:32.180
at a little bathroom upstairs.

36:32.180 --> 36:34.920
He's next to me, he's looking up at me,

36:34.920 --> 36:38.370
and he starts tracing one of the scars on my tummy,

36:38.370 --> 36:41.010
from the neck all the way down to my belly button.

36:41.010 --> 36:42.370
So he's tracking this scar,

36:42.370 --> 36:45.360
it's this big thick red band of scars.

36:45.360 --> 36:47.130
I hate it, when I see it.

36:47.130 --> 36:49.130
It hurts, it tugs.

36:49.130 --> 36:50.640
It's painful.

36:50.640 --> 36:54.060
I'm not wild about it for many reasons.

36:54.060 --> 36:56.030
And this little boy is tracking along it.

36:56.030 --> 37:01.030
And then he looks up and he says, "Daddy, your tummy is red.

37:01.650 --> 37:03.640
It is bumpy.

37:03.640 --> 37:05.270
And it is ridgy.

37:05.270 --> 37:06.777
It's so ridgy, daddy."

37:07.900 --> 37:10.433
And then he goes, "And daddy,

37:11.740 --> 37:13.040
I just love it.

37:13.040 --> 37:14.540
I just love your red,

37:14.540 --> 37:15.480
your bumpy,

37:15.480 --> 37:17.320
your ridgy tummy."

37:17.320 --> 37:18.620
And then he gave me a hug.

37:21.200 --> 37:23.610
And I, as I hugged this little boy back

37:23.610 --> 37:26.930
and set the razor down, realized

37:26.930 --> 37:29.050
what unconditional love felt like.

37:29.050 --> 37:30.290
I'd read about it.

37:30.290 --> 37:32.160
I've seen it a couple of times.

37:32.160 --> 37:35.970
But I'd never really fully accepted it for myself.

37:35.970 --> 37:39.930
This gift of seeing life through the lens of a child

37:39.930 --> 37:42.240
or in my faith view, through the lens of God,

37:42.240 --> 37:44.760
the way God views you, leaders,

37:44.760 --> 37:48.303
unconditional love, acceptance, all in.

37:49.480 --> 37:52.450
That's an idea worth writing down at this summit.

37:52.450 --> 37:53.800
Unconditional love ought to be

37:53.800 --> 37:56.800
the ultimate goal of our lives.

37:56.800 --> 37:58.770
We begin that journey toward it, I believe,

37:58.770 --> 37:59.920
by saying, why me?

37:59.920 --> 38:01.130
Dang, you're blessed.

38:01.130 --> 38:03.720
Not perfect, not this side of eternity.

38:03.720 --> 38:04.600
Why me though?

38:04.600 --> 38:05.870
Fill in the blanks.

38:05.870 --> 38:07.930
Then we asked the question, who cares?

38:07.930 --> 38:09.940
I choose to thrive because...

38:10.810 --> 38:11.980
That's your mission statement.

38:11.980 --> 38:14.150
And then the third leg of the stool was,

38:14.150 --> 38:15.740
what more can I do,

38:15.740 --> 38:18.570
to ensure that tomorrow is even better than today?

38:18.570 --> 38:19.853
Jack taught me that one.

38:21.190 --> 38:23.330
And I think his love led to a whole bunch

38:23.330 --> 38:24.470
of other beautiful pictures

38:24.470 --> 38:26.860
that arrived into our life as well.

38:26.860 --> 38:28.560
Jack, his brother, Patrick,

38:28.560 --> 38:30.890
that little boy, Henry,

38:30.890 --> 38:32.230
a girl named Grace,

38:32.230 --> 38:33.600
a puppy dog named Emma May,

38:33.600 --> 38:35.783
and their beautiful mom, Beth.

38:37.050 --> 38:39.610
That's my story, I'm sticking to it.

38:39.610 --> 38:42.050
I know my friends, we gotta wrap up here in a moment.

38:42.050 --> 38:44.610
If you'd like to learn more about my journey,

38:44.610 --> 38:46.170
more about our podcast,

38:46.170 --> 38:47.780
we have a podcast that is downloaded

38:47.780 --> 38:49.590
a couple of hundred thousand times a month.

38:49.590 --> 38:52.360
It's a cool podcast about life and love

38:52.360 --> 38:54.510
and leadership and overcoming.

38:54.510 --> 38:57.020
You can find more at the Live Inspired

38:57.020 --> 38:58.910
podcast with John O'Leary,

38:58.910 --> 39:01.410
or you can simply go to my website, ReadInAwe.com.

39:04.137 --> 39:07.101
ReadInAwe.com.

39:07.101 --> 39:08.600
ReadInAwe.com.

39:08.600 --> 39:10.060
I might end with these words,

39:10.060 --> 39:12.150
they were written 2,700 years ago

39:12.150 --> 39:14.530
by the wisest man on Earth at the time,

39:14.530 --> 39:17.580
and I think one of the wisest man to walk the Earth ever.

39:17.580 --> 39:21.187
And he said this, "There is nothing new under the sun."

39:21.187 --> 39:23.677
"There is nothing new under the sun."

39:24.570 --> 39:26.400
We look around at COVID-19,

39:26.400 --> 39:28.030
at the headlines of the day,

39:28.030 --> 39:30.950
at the combativeness of our politics,

39:30.950 --> 39:32.720
at the fires burning in some cities,

39:32.720 --> 39:34.550
at the difficulties in our families,

39:34.550 --> 39:36.790
at the diagnosis that you're concerned about receiving,

39:36.790 --> 39:38.320
or you've recently received,

39:38.320 --> 39:41.327
at all the crises blowing into your life right now,

39:41.327 --> 39:42.540
and you're thinking, my gosh,

39:42.540 --> 39:45.893
it's never, ever been so bad ever, ever!

39:46.760 --> 39:49.333
And then you read in scripture,

39:50.337 --> 39:52.137
"There's nothing new under the sun."

39:53.100 --> 39:55.680
That's 2,700 years old.

39:55.680 --> 39:59.140
So in spite of some challenges, what I believe,

39:59.140 --> 40:01.710
that indeed there are challenges in our lives today,

40:01.710 --> 40:04.450
that life is not perfect this side of eternity.

40:04.450 --> 40:06.090
But there is reason for hope.

40:06.090 --> 40:07.210
There is reason for joy.

40:07.210 --> 40:08.600
There is reason for optimism.

40:08.600 --> 40:10.020
There is a reason for forgiveness,

40:10.020 --> 40:11.850
for acceptance, for confidence,

40:11.850 --> 40:13.450
that our best days are in front of us.

40:13.450 --> 40:17.350
And there is reasons to lean fully back into love,

40:17.350 --> 40:18.770
fully back into love.

40:18.770 --> 40:21.510
Right now we are in the midst of a mighty cancel culture

40:21.510 --> 40:23.210
and many people on both sides of the aisle,

40:23.210 --> 40:26.030
this is not a political statement, it's a statement of fact,

40:26.030 --> 40:28.980
are trying to suggest that they are doing this out of love.

40:30.000 --> 40:31.623
That's not love, that's fear.

40:32.600 --> 40:36.410
That's wrapping something in a casket, in a coffin tightly,

40:36.410 --> 40:37.860
and it's eventually gonna lead to something

40:37.860 --> 40:41.100
that is a redeemable, lifeless, dead.

40:41.100 --> 40:44.220
What we need then is to remove it from that casket,

40:44.220 --> 40:45.110
to bring it into the light,

40:45.110 --> 40:47.140
to have authentic honest conversations,

40:47.140 --> 40:50.380
to recognize there is nothing new under the sun.

40:50.380 --> 40:52.720
But quoting Franklin Delano Roosevelt,

40:52.720 --> 40:55.420
who on his fourth and final inauguration,

40:55.420 --> 40:57.720
in the midst of a world crisis, World War Two,

40:57.720 --> 40:58.950
spoke these words,

40:58.950 --> 41:00.230
if you draw a line,

41:00.230 --> 41:01.630
if you draw a line, leaders,

41:01.630 --> 41:02.860
between the course of peaks and the valleys

41:02.860 --> 41:05.220
over the course of centuries,

41:05.220 --> 41:06.730
if you're able to draw a line

41:06.730 --> 41:09.630
between the course of the peaks and the valleys,

41:09.630 --> 41:11.280
over the course of a century,

41:11.280 --> 41:15.433
you will discover that that line points up and to the right.

41:16.930 --> 41:18.780
Life is hard, it is not easy.

41:18.780 --> 41:20.440
Relationships are hard, they are not easy.

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Business is hard, it is not easy.

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But it has never been better than today.

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I know that's hard for us to sometimes accept,

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but if you look at the trend lines,

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both locally, nationally, globally,

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these are difficult days.

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And if we can be honest about them,

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the foundation is firm,

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and the best days are in front of us.

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I believe in love.

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I believe in God.

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I believe in the truth that,

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in spite of this headwind,

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we've got this thing.

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We know how this ends and it's worth fighting for.

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So my friends, for this time and until next time,

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Wayne and everybody else who invited me on,

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thank you for the friendship,

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thank you for the opportunity.

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And thank you for allowing me

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to be with your friends tonight.

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I look forward to continuing the conversation.

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You can learn more by visiting me

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at ReadInAwe.com.

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I'll see you soon.

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(lively music)

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♪ More than life, more than life ♪

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♪ One individual, three letters, one syllable ♪