WEBVTT 00:01.682 --> 00:04.265 (gentle music) 00:10.406 --> 00:12.906 (light music) 00:18.535 --> 00:21.452 (electronic music) 00:26.123 --> 00:29.206 (light upbeat music) 00:33.600 --> 00:34.650 All right, hello everyone. 00:34.650 --> 00:36.180 I am Kelly Pokrifka, 00:36.180 --> 00:39.390 and I work with the Invisible Disabilities Association, 00:39.390 --> 00:42.570 and this is another webcast for "InVisible InCourage", 00:42.570 --> 00:44.460 giving us the coping mechanisms required 00:44.460 --> 00:45.750 to get through the day 00:45.750 --> 00:49.230 and get through the COVID-19 pandemic. 00:49.230 --> 00:53.760 Today, we are so excited to present Holly Zajur. 00:53.760 --> 00:58.320 Holly is a mindfulness expert working with Connect Wellness, 00:58.320 --> 01:00.780 where she focuses on addressing stress 01:00.780 --> 01:03.360 and increasing wellness through mindfulness 01:03.360 --> 01:05.100 and yoga in the workplace. 01:05.100 --> 01:07.170 Welcome Holly. Hey, Kelly. 01:07.170 --> 01:09.570 Thanks so much for having me. 01:09.570 --> 01:10.822 Thank you. 01:10.822 --> 01:12.450 It's so exciting to have you here. 01:12.450 --> 01:15.480 Can you tell us more about your company, Connect Wellness? 01:15.480 --> 01:19.350 Yes, so Connect Wellness is focused, just like you said, 01:19.350 --> 01:23.730 on addressing stress and the impacts that it will have 01:23.730 --> 01:25.860 on our mental and physical health 01:25.860 --> 01:27.960 using yoga and mindfulness techniques. 01:27.960 --> 01:31.110 And we specifically go into workplaces 01:31.110 --> 01:32.940 and offer wellness solutions, 01:32.940 --> 01:35.910 and right now we're in the process of developing 01:35.910 --> 01:38.670 on-demand wellness trainings 01:38.670 --> 01:41.970 that will be available to people wherever they are. 01:41.970 --> 01:44.730 So, it's exciting working on that right now, 01:44.730 --> 01:49.050 something that COVID-19 has kind of brought into action. 01:49.050 --> 01:50.314 Very cool. 01:50.314 --> 01:51.660 What does on-demand mean in that sense? 01:51.660 --> 01:56.070 So on-demand will be like recorded classes 01:56.070 --> 01:57.510 of a variety of links 01:57.510 --> 01:59.940 that will have different mindfulness techniques 01:59.940 --> 02:03.930 and yoga techniques that you can practice anytime. 02:03.930 --> 02:07.470 And actually, some of the practices we go over today, 02:07.470 --> 02:09.540 there will be like mini clips of that, 02:09.540 --> 02:11.370 whether it's like a three-minute practice 02:11.370 --> 02:12.750 or a 30-minute practice, 02:12.750 --> 02:16.200 giving a variety of options for people to access 02:16.200 --> 02:18.780 wherever you are and whenever you need it. 02:18.780 --> 02:19.770 That is so great. 02:19.770 --> 02:21.630 Will that be available only through the companies 02:21.630 --> 02:22.463 that you work with 02:22.463 --> 02:24.630 or can other people look it up and have- 02:24.630 --> 02:27.030 Other people will be able to join in, 02:27.030 --> 02:28.440 which is exciting. 02:28.440 --> 02:31.920 So it's still in the early phase of development, 02:31.920 --> 02:35.790 but I'll keep y'all posted once we get that material live. 02:35.790 --> 02:36.750 Yes, please do. 02:36.750 --> 02:37.980 That would be so useful. 02:37.980 --> 02:41.730 I know all of us have craziness going on 02:41.730 --> 02:43.950 and just trying to get through the day. 02:43.950 --> 02:45.990 Yeah, absolutely. 02:45.990 --> 02:48.510 So Holly, through your toughest times 02:48.510 --> 02:50.790 and your darkest hours, 02:50.790 --> 02:53.740 what gives you the courage just to get through another day? 02:54.930 --> 02:57.693 I don't remember where I read it, 02:58.800 --> 03:01.897 but there was a book and a line in it was, 03:01.897 --> 03:05.670 "You can always handle the moment that you are in." 03:05.670 --> 03:09.150 And that is kind of my grounding phrase 03:09.150 --> 03:13.590 for whatever challenge that we're moving through. 03:13.590 --> 03:15.780 We can always handle the moment that we're in 03:15.780 --> 03:17.373 'cause we are already in it. 03:18.210 --> 03:22.440 So rather than trying to wish it was different, 03:22.440 --> 03:24.420 it gives me the confidence to know like, 03:24.420 --> 03:25.830 I can handle this moment. 03:25.830 --> 03:29.130 No matter how hard, no matter how scary, 03:29.130 --> 03:31.050 I'm here so I can handle this 03:31.050 --> 03:33.300 and I can breathe with this. 03:33.300 --> 03:34.680 I love that. 03:34.680 --> 03:36.480 Well, I can't wait to see your presentation, 03:36.480 --> 03:38.850 so I'll hand you the reign now. 03:38.850 --> 03:40.643 Yeah, thank you so much. 03:40.643 --> 03:41.476 Thank you, Holly. 03:41.476 --> 03:44.560 Today, we're gonna talk a little bit about 03:46.710 --> 03:48.930 how to deal with pain 03:48.930 --> 03:52.350 and how to deal with uncertainty and stress. 03:52.350 --> 03:54.840 And the people viewing this 03:54.840 --> 03:59.580 are far better experts in pain than I am. 03:59.580 --> 04:02.580 But we're gonna go over a three-step process 04:02.580 --> 04:05.400 that is based in mindfulness 04:05.400 --> 04:08.490 that can help you move through whatever challenge 04:08.490 --> 04:09.690 that you're facing. 04:09.690 --> 04:12.720 And we'll go over a couple of different practices, 04:12.720 --> 04:15.360 and I'll explain what they're like, 04:15.360 --> 04:16.770 we'll practice them together. 04:16.770 --> 04:20.130 So you'll have a few tools that you can use 04:20.130 --> 04:22.260 when challenges arise. 04:22.260 --> 04:25.050 And they're all things that you can do 04:25.050 --> 04:28.590 if you're just sitting in bed or sitting at the desk 04:28.590 --> 04:30.330 or whatever moment you're in. 04:30.330 --> 04:32.733 Very accessible techniques that you can use. 04:34.440 --> 04:38.010 So, something I wanna talk about first is, 04:38.010 --> 04:39.963 I believe Shinzen said it, 04:41.400 --> 04:42.547 it's a phrase that says, 04:42.547 --> 04:47.220 "suffering is pain plus resistance." 04:47.220 --> 04:50.910 And pain is inevitable in life 04:50.910 --> 04:54.660 and the pain that you're experiencing is very real. 04:54.660 --> 04:56.460 Even if you can't see it, 04:56.460 --> 05:00.000 it's there and it happens. 05:00.000 --> 05:02.190 But suffering is optional. 05:02.190 --> 05:05.253 Suffering is when we resist what's happening. 05:06.900 --> 05:08.850 So if you're someone who deals 05:08.850 --> 05:11.520 with chronic pain of any sort, you might not, 05:11.520 --> 05:14.280 well, you aren't in control of the pain, 05:14.280 --> 05:17.730 but you can control how much you suffer. 05:17.730 --> 05:22.730 And there's a three-step process that you can apply 05:24.330 --> 05:26.790 to help alleviate that suffering, 05:26.790 --> 05:29.490 to let go of the resistance 05:29.490 --> 05:32.760 so that you're not in more pain than you already are. 05:32.760 --> 05:36.720 So the three steps I like to focus on are awareness, 05:36.720 --> 05:40.200 acceptance, and compassion. 05:40.200 --> 05:44.010 So, we're gonna start with awareness. 05:44.010 --> 05:47.310 And this pairs really well with mindfulness. 05:47.310 --> 05:50.700 For those of you who might not be familiar with mindfulness, 05:50.700 --> 05:55.700 mindfulness is the awareness that arises 05:55.950 --> 06:00.950 by paying attention on purpose in the present moment. 06:01.170 --> 06:04.290 So it starts with awareness, 06:04.290 --> 06:07.830 and you can just begin by bringing your awareness 06:07.830 --> 06:09.540 to whatever is present for you. 06:09.540 --> 06:13.260 So, sometimes we don't know what's going on. 06:13.260 --> 06:15.960 Maybe we feel, maybe we're like really angry, 06:15.960 --> 06:17.370 I know I'm guilty of this a lot, 06:17.370 --> 06:19.710 like I'll just be in a bad mood and I'll be grumpy 06:19.710 --> 06:23.310 and it's normally because I'm tired or I have a headache 06:23.310 --> 06:26.640 or I haven't eaten enough, whatever it might be. 06:26.640 --> 06:29.100 So when we first become aware of what's present, 06:29.100 --> 06:31.320 we can learn how to meet it, 06:31.320 --> 06:32.910 even if it's pain. 06:32.910 --> 06:37.410 So a great practice to develop awareness, 06:37.410 --> 06:39.630 and it's one that you can do any time, 06:39.630 --> 06:41.190 is a body scan. 06:41.190 --> 06:43.650 So I'm gonna talk you through it first. 06:43.650 --> 06:45.003 So a body scan, 06:46.050 --> 06:48.420 I'll guide you through it then we'll talk about it after. 06:48.420 --> 06:49.680 Perfect. 06:49.680 --> 06:51.630 Awesome. So wherever you are, 06:51.630 --> 06:54.300 if you're seated, lying down, standing, 06:54.300 --> 06:55.590 I want you to just focus 06:55.590 --> 06:57.880 on where your body meets the ground 06:59.880 --> 07:03.960 and feel your spine lengthen. 07:03.960 --> 07:06.780 Bring your shoulders to your ears, 07:06.780 --> 07:08.493 and drop 'em down the back. 07:09.480 --> 07:11.850 If it feels comfortable to you, 07:11.850 --> 07:14.640 you can gently rest the eyes 07:14.640 --> 07:16.833 or just gaze at a point in front of you. 07:18.120 --> 07:21.240 And take a moment to scan your body 07:21.240 --> 07:23.290 from the head to the toes 07:25.770 --> 07:29.670 and just take note of the sensations present for you here 07:29.670 --> 07:31.260 without judgment. 07:31.260 --> 07:34.203 Just taking mental inventory of what's there. 07:45.810 --> 07:49.650 And then place your awareness on the chest 07:49.650 --> 07:53.193 as the breath flows in and out of the body. 07:55.200 --> 07:57.333 And then you can slowly open your eyes. 07:59.040 --> 08:03.270 So, that body scan actually is a really good way 08:03.270 --> 08:05.850 to alleviate tension in the body. 08:05.850 --> 08:08.220 So if there's physical pain present, 08:08.220 --> 08:10.020 by just bringing your attention 08:10.020 --> 08:12.270 to the different parts of the body, 08:12.270 --> 08:15.663 you can soften and release that tension around it. 08:16.530 --> 08:18.360 And it lets go of some of that resistance 08:18.360 --> 08:21.240 like we talked about earlier. 08:21.240 --> 08:23.400 So that's a great tool that you can use. 08:23.400 --> 08:25.170 You know, it's not a cure all for anything, 08:25.170 --> 08:27.330 but it's really a good way to just develop like, 08:27.330 --> 08:29.820 okay, my back really hurts right now 08:29.820 --> 08:32.190 or I've got a really bad migraine, 08:32.190 --> 08:34.830 and just being aware of what's there. 08:34.830 --> 08:35.700 That's wonderful. 08:35.700 --> 08:36.750 I love that. Yeah. 08:38.400 --> 08:42.990 So the next part is once we're aware of what's there 08:42.990 --> 08:44.760 is acceptance. 08:44.760 --> 08:47.737 And acceptance doesn't mean that you're like, 08:47.737 --> 08:50.610 "Everything's great, I feel awesome." 08:50.610 --> 08:51.937 Acceptance might be like, 08:51.937 --> 08:54.930 "Wow, this really sucks right now." 08:54.930 --> 08:56.883 But it's there. 08:58.470 --> 09:01.530 And the phrase that I keep in mind 09:01.530 --> 09:04.230 is accept the present situation. 09:04.230 --> 09:07.590 Because the present moment is already there, 09:07.590 --> 09:09.480 so we have two options. 09:09.480 --> 09:13.050 You can either waste a lot of energy and effort 09:13.050 --> 09:15.270 wishing that things were different. 09:15.270 --> 09:18.240 Maybe wishing that you felt the way you used to 09:18.240 --> 09:22.800 or maybe wanting to change or control things, 09:22.800 --> 09:24.240 but the moment's already here. 09:24.240 --> 09:27.990 So instead of adding that extra energy, that extra effort, 09:27.990 --> 09:30.090 increasing your body stress response 09:30.090 --> 09:32.970 which will probably make your pain worse, 09:32.970 --> 09:35.493 if you accept what's there, 09:37.770 --> 09:38.910 you can move through it. 09:38.910 --> 09:41.160 And it kinda brings me back to what gets me 09:41.160 --> 09:43.200 through my hardest times is 09:43.200 --> 09:45.210 you can always handle the moment you're in. 09:45.210 --> 09:47.610 So accept the present situation 09:47.610 --> 09:50.250 and know that you can handle this breath. 09:50.250 --> 09:51.930 You can always handle the breath 09:51.930 --> 09:55.050 that you're taking right here, right now. 09:55.050 --> 09:58.950 So we're gonna talk through two breath techniques 09:58.950 --> 10:00.960 that I really love. 10:00.960 --> 10:05.310 And the breath is a really important tool 10:05.310 --> 10:07.740 because not only does it help 10:07.740 --> 10:11.370 bring mindful awareness to a moment, 10:11.370 --> 10:14.970 but the breath communicates to our nervous system. 10:14.970 --> 10:16.620 So when we inhale, 10:16.620 --> 10:19.260 we activate our sympathetic nervous system, 10:19.260 --> 10:22.200 which is paired with our body's stress response. 10:22.200 --> 10:24.990 And that will increase your cortisol levels. 10:24.990 --> 10:26.820 It can help you in a lot of ways, 10:26.820 --> 10:28.650 but when that's on override, 10:28.650 --> 10:32.310 your body can become depleted and fatigued. 10:32.310 --> 10:35.760 But when we exhale, we actually counterbalance that. 10:35.760 --> 10:39.120 We activate the parasympathetic nervous system 10:39.120 --> 10:43.650 and that communicates, it calms down the stress response, 10:43.650 --> 10:46.200 it communicates to the body and the mind 10:46.200 --> 10:49.470 that it is okay, you can relax. 10:49.470 --> 10:54.150 So, by exhaling you're doing a tremendous gift 10:54.150 --> 10:57.003 to not only your mind, but your body as well. 10:58.260 --> 11:00.270 So the first breath we're gonna talk through, 11:00.270 --> 11:04.050 and I'll scoot back a little so you can see, 11:04.050 --> 11:06.540 is a dive for mat breath. 11:06.540 --> 11:10.945 And that's just a big word for like a belly breath. 11:10.945 --> 11:12.120 (Kellie giggles) So, (laughs) I want you 11:12.961 --> 11:15.000 to bring your right hand to your chest 11:15.000 --> 11:16.923 and your left hand to your belly. 11:18.120 --> 11:20.670 And you can choose if you want your eyes open 11:20.670 --> 11:22.233 or closed for this. 11:23.340 --> 11:26.970 Inhale, feel your chest expand. 11:26.970 --> 11:29.790 Feel it move all the way down to your belly. 11:29.790 --> 11:33.843 And then exhale, feel your belly and your chest sink back. 11:35.550 --> 11:39.543 Inhale the chest, the belly expand. 11:41.460 --> 11:44.313 Exhale, let it slowly sink back. 11:47.107 --> 11:50.820 Inhale the chest, the belly expand, 11:50.820 --> 11:54.630 and exhale slowly let it sink back. 11:54.630 --> 11:57.123 Take three more breaths like this on your own. 12:08.460 --> 12:12.000 Good, and then you can just return to your natural breath. 12:12.000 --> 12:14.760 Let go of any desire to change or control the breath. 12:14.760 --> 12:18.000 So that diaphragmatic breath, that two-part breath, 12:18.000 --> 12:19.710 hand on the heart, hand on the belly, 12:19.710 --> 12:22.977 really feel yourself fill the belly with air, 12:22.977 --> 12:26.400 it actually increases your oxygen levels 12:26.400 --> 12:29.190 which will give you an energy boost. 12:29.190 --> 12:31.710 It lowers blood pressure. 12:31.710 --> 12:33.360 It can reduce your heart rate. 12:33.360 --> 12:35.580 So if you're like having an anxious moment 12:35.580 --> 12:37.110 and your heart's beating really fast, 12:37.110 --> 12:38.790 great thing to do. 12:38.790 --> 12:41.640 It relaxes the muscles 12:41.640 --> 12:45.300 and releases a sense of calm through the brain and the body. 12:45.300 --> 12:47.760 And that's greatly in part because it activates 12:47.760 --> 12:50.190 our parasympathetic nervous system. 12:50.190 --> 12:52.260 So it's a great one you can do. 12:52.260 --> 12:54.900 Then the next one is my favorite one, 12:54.900 --> 12:56.790 and it's just a one to two breath 12:56.790 --> 12:58.830 that focuses on the exhale, 12:58.830 --> 13:01.080 and I think the exhale is amazing. 13:01.080 --> 13:03.129 So like, I wanna do it more and more. 13:03.129 --> 13:04.770 (Kellie laughs) So I'll talk you 13:04.770 --> 13:05.603 through this one. 13:05.603 --> 13:08.400 So find a comfortable seat 13:08.400 --> 13:10.833 or lie down wherever's comfortable for you. 13:12.330 --> 13:14.370 Feel your spine lengthen again, 13:14.370 --> 13:16.650 bring your shoulders to your ears, 13:16.650 --> 13:19.080 and exhale, drop them down the back. 13:19.080 --> 13:21.090 And we'll just take a cleansing breath together. 13:21.090 --> 13:23.283 Inhale, fill your belly with air, 13:24.486 --> 13:25.586 and exhale, let it go. 13:26.850 --> 13:28.170 Awesome. 13:28.170 --> 13:30.060 So, I'll count you through this. 13:30.060 --> 13:32.580 We're gonna inhale for four, 13:32.580 --> 13:34.410 hold for four, 13:34.410 --> 13:35.853 and exhale for eight. 13:39.090 --> 13:43.350 Inhale for one, two, 13:43.350 --> 13:46.773 three, four, hold. 13:47.850 --> 13:52.613 Exhale, one, two, three, four, 13:53.610 --> 13:58.610 five, six, seven, eight. 13:59.250 --> 14:03.330 Inhale, one, two, 14:03.330 --> 14:06.663 three, four, hold. 14:07.890 --> 14:12.890 Exhale, one, two, three, four, 14:14.070 --> 14:18.527 five, six, seven, eight. 14:19.680 --> 14:22.293 Take two more breaths like this. 14:37.290 --> 14:40.533 And then you can release control over the breath, 14:41.820 --> 14:44.340 and actually take a body scan again. 14:44.340 --> 14:46.860 So you can keep the eyes open or closed 14:46.860 --> 14:50.253 and just scan the body again from the head to the toes. 14:52.020 --> 14:54.120 Observe what's present for you here, 14:54.120 --> 14:55.683 whatever it is, 14:57.030 --> 14:59.880 and just notice if it's any different from when we began. 15:05.460 --> 15:09.150 So that one to two breath is great 15:09.150 --> 15:13.320 because it activates our parasympathetic nervous system 15:13.320 --> 15:14.153 on that exhale. 15:14.153 --> 15:16.710 So you'll get a lot of the same benefits 15:16.710 --> 15:18.963 that you do from the diaphragmatic breath. 15:20.760 --> 15:23.280 And it's a really good way that you can 15:23.280 --> 15:26.220 increase your calm when you're under pressure. 15:26.220 --> 15:27.870 And it starts with the body 15:27.870 --> 15:29.823 and then communicates to the mind. 15:32.400 --> 15:35.520 So the next point that I had to make 15:35.520 --> 15:38.703 was a point of compassion. 15:39.930 --> 15:42.960 This is something that, in my opinion, 15:42.960 --> 15:47.763 we could all use a little extra compassion with ourselves. 15:49.410 --> 15:53.040 We don't always get to choose what's present for us, 15:53.040 --> 15:54.690 especially if you're someone 15:54.690 --> 15:57.933 who is experiencing chronic pain. 15:58.830 --> 16:01.953 That's not your choice, it's just there. 16:03.060 --> 16:06.390 However, you do have the ability to choose 16:06.390 --> 16:09.123 how you meet yourself in that. 16:10.110 --> 16:14.910 And often, there are studies that show 16:14.910 --> 16:19.910 that self-criticism and global self-comparison 16:20.640 --> 16:24.690 actually create a similar physical response in the body 16:24.690 --> 16:25.920 to that of stress. 16:25.920 --> 16:28.560 So activating the sympathetic nervous system, 16:28.560 --> 16:31.290 your cortisol levels will rise, 16:31.290 --> 16:33.840 the prefrontal cortex will actually shrink 16:33.840 --> 16:38.190 and that prefrontal cortex manages our ability 16:38.190 --> 16:43.190 to manage behavior and our ability to deal with stress. 16:44.640 --> 16:47.700 But on the other end of the spectrum, 16:47.700 --> 16:50.650 studies have shown that self-compassion 16:51.630 --> 16:54.840 are similar to mindfulness practices in that 16:54.840 --> 16:56.760 it will counterbalance that. 16:56.760 --> 17:00.600 So, self-compassion activates 17:00.600 --> 17:02.850 our parasympathetic nervous system, 17:02.850 --> 17:05.610 just like the exhale does, 17:05.610 --> 17:08.280 which balances out that response. 17:08.280 --> 17:10.410 And it's also shown to strengthen 17:10.410 --> 17:12.780 the prefrontal cortex of the brain, 17:12.780 --> 17:17.160 which increases our ability to regulate our behavior, 17:17.160 --> 17:21.243 making us better equipped to deal with whatever is present. 17:22.820 --> 17:24.600 And I think that's all something we could use 17:24.600 --> 17:26.160 a little more of. 17:26.160 --> 17:29.550 And sometimes, I think the easiest way 17:29.550 --> 17:31.660 that I think about it is 17:33.360 --> 17:35.250 often how I talk to myself 17:35.250 --> 17:37.860 isn't how I would talk to a friend. 17:37.860 --> 17:38.930 Yeah. But if you, yeah, 17:38.930 --> 17:41.700 if you can take a moment though to imagine, 17:41.700 --> 17:44.880 if my friend was going through this right now, 17:44.880 --> 17:46.290 what would I tell them? 17:46.290 --> 17:47.310 And it's probably different 17:47.310 --> 17:49.020 than what you would tell yourself. 17:49.020 --> 17:53.010 And especially if you're someone experiencing chronic pain, 17:53.010 --> 17:56.880 you are probably experiencing a wide array of emotions, 17:56.880 --> 17:59.250 especially now when there's 17:59.250 --> 18:02.730 so much extra uncertainty in the world. 18:02.730 --> 18:04.800 And if you can just start by validating 18:04.800 --> 18:05.700 whatever you're feeling, 18:05.700 --> 18:06.750 like if you're angry, 18:06.750 --> 18:08.670 yeah, you have every right to be angry. 18:08.670 --> 18:10.380 What you're going through sucks. 18:10.380 --> 18:15.360 Or if you're sad, yeah, it's totally okay that you're sad. 18:15.360 --> 18:19.560 Rather than beating yourself up about what's present, 18:19.560 --> 18:22.020 if we can take a moment to just meet ourselves 18:22.020 --> 18:24.690 with compassion, with whatever that is, 18:24.690 --> 18:25.713 I mean like, yeah. 18:26.790 --> 18:28.740 Like, this is really hard, 18:28.740 --> 18:32.610 and that actually takes a weight off of our shoulders, 18:32.610 --> 18:35.580 which makes us better able to deal with what's there. 18:35.580 --> 18:39.690 Then we are more equipped to be in that present moment 18:39.690 --> 18:41.700 and to move through it. 18:41.700 --> 18:45.090 So a really good compassion practice that I like, 18:45.090 --> 18:49.110 sometimes we can't verbally get there in our minds yet. 18:49.110 --> 18:51.990 So we'll talk with just the first layer of it. 18:51.990 --> 18:55.500 And I'll have you, wherever you are, 18:55.500 --> 18:57.840 to think of a gesture 18:57.840 --> 19:00.000 that feels really compassionate to you. 19:00.000 --> 19:04.080 So for me, it's placing my palms on the heart. 19:04.080 --> 19:06.120 That feels like an act of compassion. 19:06.120 --> 19:08.310 Maybe it's like giving yourself a hug 19:08.310 --> 19:09.210 or holding your hand. 19:09.210 --> 19:10.260 If you're not that affectionate 19:10.260 --> 19:12.454 maybe it's just like touching your knees. 19:12.454 --> 19:14.604 (Kellie laughs) Whatever feels comforting. 19:16.680 --> 19:19.294 For Kellie, it's probably like touching your hands. 19:19.294 --> 19:22.770 (both laughing) 19:22.770 --> 19:24.420 So think of a moment like, okay, 19:24.420 --> 19:26.970 find your compassionate gesture. 19:26.970 --> 19:29.643 And then find a comfortable seat wherever you are. 19:30.750 --> 19:32.850 And we'll take three deep breaths again 19:32.850 --> 19:34.240 in through the nose 19:35.370 --> 19:37.830 and out through the mouth. (exhales) 19:37.830 --> 19:39.363 Two more like this. 19:42.285 --> 19:45.035 (exhales deeply) 19:48.006 --> 19:49.080 (exhales deeply) 19:49.080 --> 19:51.780 And wherever your hands are, 19:51.780 --> 19:55.530 wherever that compassionate gesture is, 19:55.530 --> 19:57.870 envision a dot of light there. 19:57.870 --> 20:00.243 Like imagine the sun right there, 20:02.310 --> 20:05.463 feeling its warmth and its light. 20:08.220 --> 20:12.813 And with each breath let that light grow and expand, 20:18.060 --> 20:20.560 filling your entire body 20:21.600 --> 20:25.743 with this sensation of warmth and light, 20:27.360 --> 20:30.063 of compassion and kindness. 20:38.640 --> 20:42.360 And again, scanning the body from the head to the toes 20:42.360 --> 20:44.910 and just notice what's present for you here, 20:44.910 --> 20:47.103 whatever it might be. 20:51.960 --> 20:54.900 And taking a moment to feel really proud of yourself 20:54.900 --> 20:57.990 to maybe do something new for the first time 20:57.990 --> 21:00.483 and just to try meeting yourself in a new way. 21:01.530 --> 21:03.930 And then you can bring your hands back 21:03.930 --> 21:05.230 wherever they were before. 21:07.494 --> 21:08.340 (Kellie speaks indistinctly) 21:08.340 --> 21:09.240 What was that? 21:09.240 --> 21:10.519 That was good. 21:10.519 --> 21:11.700 I love that. 21:11.700 --> 21:13.800 Yeah, it's a really good way that 21:13.800 --> 21:18.060 it actually helps our ability 21:18.060 --> 21:20.370 to meet our own needs 21:20.370 --> 21:23.490 and our own attachment needs in particular. 21:23.490 --> 21:25.530 So it's a really good way to be like, "You know what? 21:25.530 --> 21:28.890 I can give myself this compassion right now." 21:28.890 --> 21:30.750 And the more we can give it to ourselves, 21:30.750 --> 21:32.310 the more we can give it to others. 21:32.310 --> 21:34.770 But often it's hardest to give it to ourselves. 21:34.770 --> 21:36.600 So it's a really good practice 21:36.600 --> 21:38.310 and just that envisioning of light 21:38.310 --> 21:40.710 or that, you know, gesture of compassion 21:40.710 --> 21:44.430 is something you can do, like flashes during the day. 21:44.430 --> 21:47.460 Whenever you start to feel frustrated 21:47.460 --> 21:49.800 or maybe it's a real big moment of pain, 21:49.800 --> 21:52.290 like what does your pain need right now? 21:52.290 --> 21:56.193 Maybe it needs a hug, maybe it needs just a little care. 21:58.590 --> 22:02.070 Yeah, so those are the three steps 22:02.070 --> 22:05.820 that I find incredibly useful to moving through challenges, 22:05.820 --> 22:10.290 and especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. 22:10.290 --> 22:12.690 You know, being aware of what's happening 22:12.690 --> 22:14.370 is really important. 22:14.370 --> 22:16.110 Acknowledging it, you know, you don't have 22:16.110 --> 22:17.760 to overconsume media, 22:17.760 --> 22:20.040 but be aware of what's going on 22:20.040 --> 22:22.650 and then accepting it. 22:22.650 --> 22:24.540 Because as scary as it is 22:24.540 --> 22:27.570 and as much as we might not want it to be here, 22:27.570 --> 22:31.530 it's here and we can always handle the moment that we're in. 22:31.530 --> 22:35.310 So give yourself your fullest ability to be with that. 22:35.310 --> 22:37.620 And then being really compassionate 22:37.620 --> 22:39.690 with yourself and with others. 22:39.690 --> 22:42.900 Because one of the biggest things 22:42.900 --> 22:44.400 that's been helping me through this is, 22:44.400 --> 22:47.010 you are not working from home right now. 22:47.010 --> 22:51.360 You are trying to work at home in the middle of a crisis. 22:51.360 --> 22:53.370 And that's what's happening right now. 22:53.370 --> 22:56.370 All of our bodies are having a stress response, 22:56.370 --> 22:59.940 we're under chronic stress and that's making, 22:59.940 --> 23:01.800 it'll cause adrenal fatigue, 23:01.800 --> 23:03.723 it makes it harder to sleep. 23:04.890 --> 23:08.580 It makes you more dehydrated, more prone to headaches. 23:08.580 --> 23:11.610 It's impacting our entire body and mind. 23:11.610 --> 23:13.620 So give yourself grace and compassion 23:13.620 --> 23:16.860 and give yourself extra ability to nourish yourself 23:16.860 --> 23:18.570 and care for yourself extra in this. 23:18.570 --> 23:20.700 And if you're someone who's already in pain, 23:20.700 --> 23:22.110 this makes it even harder, 23:22.110 --> 23:25.980 and be kind to yourself in that. 23:25.980 --> 23:28.380 And know that you can always handle 23:28.380 --> 23:29.680 the moment that you're in. 23:30.540 --> 23:31.770 This was so helpful. 23:31.770 --> 23:33.630 I've read, I don't know if this is true 23:33.630 --> 23:35.880 so you'll have to help me on this one, 23:35.880 --> 23:38.610 that the stress response that our body gives us 23:38.610 --> 23:43.050 to emotional stress is exactly the same as physical stress. 23:43.050 --> 23:47.550 Yeah, so when there's a perceived threat or challenge, 23:47.550 --> 23:52.200 whether it's mental or physical, 23:52.200 --> 23:55.620 our body goes into that fight or flight response. 23:55.620 --> 24:00.060 And it'll increase our adrenaline, our cortisol levels, 24:00.060 --> 24:03.120 our whole body stress response will come in, 24:03.120 --> 24:07.113 whether or not it's a physical thing there. 24:08.730 --> 24:12.030 So it's kind of like nice to understand that at least, too. 24:12.030 --> 24:16.170 Like, "Okay, the things I'm experiencing 24:16.170 --> 24:19.377 are because of the stress that I'm under right now." 24:21.120 --> 24:23.100 And stress isn't inherently bad. 24:23.100 --> 24:25.320 I also think it's really important to remember 24:25.320 --> 24:29.130 that our body has a response to stress for a reason 24:29.130 --> 24:30.840 and it has a lot of positives. 24:30.840 --> 24:33.840 It can help us deal with the threat or challenge. 24:33.840 --> 24:37.410 It heightens our awareness and our energy levels. 24:37.410 --> 24:42.120 However, our body is meant to go back to its equilibrium 24:42.120 --> 24:44.730 when that threat or challenge is removed. 24:44.730 --> 24:47.190 So if that threat is constant, 24:47.190 --> 24:50.160 whether that's the COVID-19 pandemic, 24:50.160 --> 24:52.590 or chronic pain or both, 24:52.590 --> 24:55.890 your body is in that constant stress response. 24:55.890 --> 24:59.253 So we have to do our best to give our body breaks from that, 25:01.080 --> 25:03.870 and it can start with the exhale 25:03.870 --> 25:06.780 because the exhale will help counterbalance that response. 25:06.780 --> 25:08.970 So it's not something to get even more stressed outta that. 25:08.970 --> 25:13.050 It's like, okay, you can breathe deeper. 25:13.050 --> 25:14.460 That's a great place to start 25:14.460 --> 25:17.420 and it will do worlds of benefits for your body and mind. 25:17.420 --> 25:20.280 It really gives you a sense of power over your pain. 25:20.280 --> 25:21.270 Yeah. That there is something 25:21.270 --> 25:23.430 that you can control about it. 25:23.430 --> 25:25.410 Absolutely. I've always thought that, 25:25.410 --> 25:27.840 while you can't eliminate the original pain, 25:27.840 --> 25:30.930 and the original pain in chronic pain will always be there, 25:30.930 --> 25:32.010 you can stop it. 25:32.010 --> 25:35.280 Stop yourself from exacerbating any additional pain 25:35.280 --> 25:36.660 from your tense muscles 25:36.660 --> 25:39.060 or your increased heart rate or blood pressure. 25:39.060 --> 25:40.740 And I think that's just really powerful. 25:40.740 --> 25:42.870 I think that's a really huge tool that we can use. 25:42.870 --> 25:44.190 Yeah, it's tremendous. 25:44.190 --> 25:47.430 And it's work and that's amazing 25:47.430 --> 25:48.927 to be able to recognize that 25:48.927 --> 25:51.060 and to keep working towards it 25:51.060 --> 25:52.290 because you're exactly right. 25:52.290 --> 25:55.650 You don't have to make it harder for yourself 25:55.650 --> 25:56.550 than it already is. 25:56.550 --> 25:58.200 I think that kind of reminds me of 25:58.200 --> 26:00.120 the suffering is pain plus resistance. 26:00.120 --> 26:01.500 Like the pain is there, 26:01.500 --> 26:03.510 but you don't have to make it worse. 26:03.510 --> 26:04.860 Agree. 26:04.860 --> 26:06.540 This was so helpful. 26:06.540 --> 26:10.110 All these tips are really easy to do wherever you are, 26:10.110 --> 26:12.560 and no matter how many amounts of pain you're in. 26:13.440 --> 26:15.423 Yeah, I hope that it helps. 26:16.530 --> 26:18.780 I have a brief blog post 26:18.780 --> 26:20.610 that shares some of these techniques, 26:20.610 --> 26:23.730 so I'll be sure to share them with the Facebook group 26:23.730 --> 26:27.153 for people to check in with that as a resource. 26:28.719 --> 26:29.910 (both speaking at the same time) 26:29.910 --> 26:31.285 What was that? 26:31.285 --> 26:32.280 Will you add that to the comments 26:32.280 --> 26:33.974 below the live view? Yes. 26:33.974 --> 26:34.807 That would be perfect. Yes, I'll add that 26:34.807 --> 26:36.107 to the comments once I figure out 26:36.107 --> 26:38.489 how to do that once this is done. 26:38.489 --> 26:39.322 (both laugh) 26:39.322 --> 26:41.670 That would be wonderful. 26:41.670 --> 26:44.010 Thank you all so much for joining us. 26:44.010 --> 26:46.500 And Holly, you were incredible and so useful, 26:46.500 --> 26:49.410 and if anyone has any questions or comments for Holly, 26:49.410 --> 26:50.460 just put 'em in the comments 26:50.460 --> 26:52.920 and if she's able to, she'll get to 'em. 26:52.920 --> 26:54.690 Awesome, thank you guys so much 26:54.690 --> 26:57.060 for letting me share with you all today 26:57.060 --> 27:00.390 and for the impactful work that you all do. 27:00.390 --> 27:01.740 I really appreciate you all 27:01.740 --> 27:04.530 and I'm so grateful to be a part of this today. 27:04.530 --> 27:06.513 Yeah, we are so lucky to have you. 27:07.500 --> 27:09.480 All right, well this has been another episode 27:09.480 --> 27:11.610 of "InVisible InCourage". 27:11.610 --> 27:14.778 and we are so grateful that everyone could join us. 27:14.778 --> 27:17.861 (light upbeat music) 27:37.204 --> 27:41.121 (light upbeat music continues)